Mary came to me because no matter what she did in business or teaching she always felt this unworthiness and fear of exposure and pain. She knew she was bright, capable and very communicative. She did very well telemarketing about simple products working for minimum wage. She did very well teaching children who wanted to be there. But if the parents or the child were braggarts, bullies, rebellious she usually became fearful in conflict and angry in private. And when she tried to break out of the minimum wage arena in sales, she would feel less than nothing talking up products and services. Her self value and worth was dependent on wage level and the confidence level of the person she was talking to.
Mary was caught in a vicious cycle that seemed to be an endless loop of pain and suffering.
Broken promises to herself after high expectations that were simply unfulfilled. The cycle looked like this:
Mary was born to a fine Irish home. Her parents were strict and dependent upon the attitudes and opinions of the community. They loved their family and wanted each child to be taught accordingly to the rules and traditions of their religion and culture. Their love was not so much in touching but in training.
When she was twelve her parents sent her off to boarding school. A catholic boarding school. The experience was full of rules and strictness but this time it was within walls of coldness, damp, gray, hardness. The smell was even cold and hard. Before this at least she had the fresh green dampness of the countryside while in the midst of work and discipline. Now the senses were craving freshness and aliveness. But she was told that new and fresh thinking was sinful. Food was rare, rest was relief. Fun was never allowed. Intense study was required. Cleaning was a way to remind them of their duty to wipe out all their dirty thoughts. The deprivation of clothing, love, laughter, and food was to remind them of the joys that await them in heaven when they got through this hell.
Later in life Mary learned that not all boarding schools were run this way. She tried to process and work through all of the problems that cycled through her life after that, but she just could not get shake it.
Worthlessness and failure became a constant reminder to her of the past and how she felt about herself. Even though I told her I did not believe the negative self-betraying attitudes she held about herself, she said she did not feel worthy to succeed.
As she looked into her life, she realized how much energy she put into her struggles.
She saw how she was constantly trying something new and setting herself up for failure before she took two steps forward.
Her vicious cycle was being supported by several key emotions. Frustration, fear, anxiety, anger, depressive feelings, and illusion was supporting negative beliefs about herself.
The beliefs -- "I am not good enough," "I am not enough," "I am sinful," "I am overwhelmed," "I am not worthy," "I must find a way at all costs," "I won't make it anyway," were constantly nagging at her.
Nutritionally, she was eating poorly. She didn't feel clean inside so she ate to match that. Osteoporosis caused major problems with one of her hips, which signified a lack of support from her family "tribe." She was afraid of her ex-husband and the nuns at the convent where she boarded as a child.
A Vicious cycle is one that feeds on itself. It needs to. It is part of the body's coping system. By keeping the cycle of beliefs, emotions, and events going it has the stability of knowing where it is going even though it is painful.
Mary and I had this conversation:
Ron, I want to get it this time. I have to get it. What is it that is stopping me?
Mary it is important that you look at your whole cycle. What part would you like to keep?
Actually, none of it.
Why not keep some of it?
Because it is such a life of pain, burden, failure and just plain yuck. I want something different.
But if you change all of it out today, what will you be and what will you do?
I will be fantastic and I will do fantastic.
Look in your heart. Does it say the same thing?
No it doesn't. That is not right. My heart is really scared about changing.
To change the vicious cycle requires you to go through certain steps for safety and understanding.
What do I have to do?
Here are some of the steps:
These are some of the steps that can liberate you. Of course there are more steps and opportunities for more in-depth searching and understanding.
- Awareness and acknowledgement
- Expression of emotions and releasing of hidden judgments, resentments.
- Finding the false beliefs.
- Acknowledging the payoff of these beliefs and emotions.
- Defining what the real resistance is.
- Defining what the vicious cycle is, what it is doing.
- Defining how to change that cycle into a Freedom cycle.
- How to include sensory, nutritional, energy, beliefs and emotions to make the changes.
- Getting to the heart and changing to new beliefs and emotions.
- Activating a new pattern
- Integrating Joy, Determination, Gratitude, and Excitement into the new pattern.
- Seek again, but not out of pain, just out of opportunity
However, right now you seem to be in awe or overwhelm.
I am in both. I am excited that I can actually start to truly change. But there are so many steps. How can I do this? I am just me.
It sounds like you are back into your pattern of fear and worthlessness.
Oh I guess so.
I can help you, if you want me to.
Alright, how do I get started?
By first writing as fast as you can all the events that are associated with this vicious cycle of suffering, worthiness, failure, and fear.
Do I have to do it now?
Now is a good time. If you put it off, then you are back into the vicious cycle again. Don't you want the financial freedom and personal freedom you have been seeking?
Yes, I really do. Now is a great time.
Once you have written these, email your answers, and then I will start to guide you onto the next step.
End of session.
Just like Mary, now you have an opportunity to do the same.
Whatever your fears or problems may be, there are solutions. If there is a problem, the solution already exists. The answer lies deep within you.
Lets find the answers to get you the life you've always wanted.
They ARE in you, right now.
Start today. Sign up for the email course today. It is a 7 week course minimum, with additional lessons if desired. I will help you get past your vicious cycle and help you create your Freedom cycle of prosperity and abundance.
You will get discussions and examples like this with every lesson. You will also receive a complimentary group tele-course session if you sign up today.
This is a limited time offer.
The Prosperity Freedom cycle Course is unique to you; it is tailored to your needs. Thus, it is a per session price. (Minimum number of lessons is 7 weeks - one per week. Maximum number is your choice.)
This is a personal feedback course. It is only $55 for each personal email lesson. You may start or stop at anytime.
Individual phone sessions are available upon request - quoted individually.
Group Telecourses are $55 for 2 hours. You get one complimentary group tele-course session with the ecourse.
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